Gift Guide

STUFF YOUR STOCKING

Gross. Not like that. We meant these are good bonus gifts but you probably don’t want to waste your time individually wrapping them all.

WIN THE WHITE ELEPHANT

We know it’s awkward that your aunt brought a dildo to the family white elephant. Here are some slightly more appropriate gifts that are guaranteed to be stolen at least twice.

SHOP HOTTEST ACCESSORIES

ALL ITEMS UNDER $25

FOR YOUR CHEAP ASS

Alright Discount Dan and Coupon Courtney. You really won’t pony up the $49 for a pair of Grand Prix for your ONLY brother? Here’s all our items under $25 that even your cheap ass can afford this giving season.

NO DISCOUNTS JUST CHEAP

ONE SIZE FITS ALL

DON’T OFFEND THEM BY BUYING THE WRONG SIZE

Sure, you could get them another graphic T-Shirt with a quote from “The Office”, but do you remember your friend’s exact circumference? There are endless ways to fuck this up. Better not risk it.

SHOW THEM HOW XL YOUR HEART IS

CLOTHING ITEMS

NEVER NUDES

Just because they’re ashamed of their bodies, doesn’t mean they should be ashamed of their clothes.

KEEP THE JORTS THOUGH

PRODUCTS OVER $100

PROVE YOU LOVE THEM

Some say the best gift you can give someone is your time. You know what we’d rather get? Expensive gifts.

MAKE IT RAIN

Z87+ RATED

CLUMSY IDIOTS

You wouldn’t believe how many emails we get from customers claiming we saved their eyeballs from nail guns, pavement, saw blades, and literal human feces. For the butterfingers in your life, we’ve got ANSI Z87+ rated protection.

TIME TO SAVE FACE

CYCLING GEAR

TAINT RASH

I don’t know anything about bicycles, but my boss told me to put this category here. Fuckin’ nerds. If you’re gonna stare at your friends’ chamois all day, make sure it’s looking good.

SPANDEX ENTHUSIASTS

WINTER SPORTS GEAR

THE BEST SKIER ON THE MOUNTAIN

They stretch all year to get the widest Daffy possible. They’ve got a permanent rip in the crotch of their ski jeans and they’re not afraid to let it all Frank out. They are: The Best Skier On The Mountain.

BETTER CALL THEM OUT

BEVERAGE HOLDING PRODUCTS